"the Goods" from Toddlers and Preschoolers
By Dr. Linda Pearson
me the goods and you'll get your goodies." That, in a nutshell,
captures the practice of a good boss who sets limits, establishes
rules, lays out responsibilities, and rewards employees for their
good performance. In the view of Dr. Linda Pearson, the same basic
principle applies to parents who want to teach and motivate good
behaviors in their children. What are "the goods" that
apply to toddlers and preschoolers? In her new book, THE DISCIPLINE
MIRACLE, she describes specific behavioral expectations parents
should hold their child to, depending on his developmental age and
Does your child show age appropriate evidence of respect for you
and other adults in his life? Did three-year-old Ashley look in
Grandma's eyes and thank her for the cookie, even if you had to
remind her gently? Did four-year-old Ryan listen carefully as you
talked with him about his behavior instead of rolling his eyes and
looking off into the distance?
Does your child show age appropriate ability to handle circumstances
and responsibilities? Did four-year-old Jordan show the ability
to put his emotions into words by telling you that he was feeling
mad, sad, or bad? When two-year-old Chelsea removed everything from
her bedroom drawer, did she show patience and work hard to put everything
back after her "time out?"
JUDGMENT. Does your child show you an age appropriate ability to
make good choices? Does four-year-old Zach show proper judgment
in obeying the safety rules you've explained to him? Did three-year-old
Morgan accept your explanation of why she couldn't wear her bathing
suit to church instead of having a tantrum before complying?
Was five-year-old Justin able to calm down and talk about his emotions
after screaming at you when you insisted he get ready for school?
Did two-year-old Taylor stop chasing and scaring the dog and instead
accept your guidance in petting his fur gently?
your child is showing you these "goods," he is in line
to get "goodies." For toddlers and preschoolers, "goodies"
might include a small "sweet treat," the addition of a
TV program, or the extra attention of having you play a board game
with him. The "goodies" you grant to your child are linked
to the degree to which your child has shown you "the goods"
for the past minute, hour, or day, depending on ability and age.
Even toddlers are able to learn how their behaviors over the past
hour link to the "goodies" they receive.
from THE DISCIPLINE MIRACLE: The Clinically Proven System for Raising
Happy, Healthy, and Well-Behaved Kids by Dr. Linda Pearson (AMACOM
Books; November 2005; $14.95 Paperback Original; ISBN: 0-8144-7297-4).
The information presented on this site is intended
solely as a general educational aid, and is neither medical nor
healthcare advice for any individual problem, nor a substitute for
medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified
healthcare provider familiar with your unique circumstances. Always
seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare
professional regarding any medical condition and before starting
any new treatment.