Raising Non-Violent Children

By the time most children leave elementary school, it has been estimated that they will have witnessed approximately 8,000 murders and over 100,000 other acts of violence on television.

These statistics don't even take into account the many violent images and messages portrayed in music, video games and movies.

Many child advocates, researchers, and professional organizations (including the American Academy of Family Physicians, American Medical Association and the American Psychological Association) have acknowledged a correlation between media violence and increased aggressive behavior.

Studies suggest that children who experience prolonged exposure to violent images may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others, more fearful of their world, and more likely to behave aggressively towards others.

Of course, the factors that contribute to aggressive behavior are complex. And there are no easy answers regarding how to address the prevalence of violent images in the media.

However, there are important things parents can do to minimize their children's exposure to violence, support their emotional development and promote positive, non-violent behavior.

*Limit your children's television viewing, when possible. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children are exposed to no more than 1 or 2 hours of television a day. Encourage your kids to seek alternative activities such as reading, spending time with family and friends, participating in sports, music, or other hobbies or interests.

*Watch the shows your kids are interested in and talk with them about the stories, characters and messages. Do the shows portray consequences for violent behavior? Are violent characters portrayed as heroes? Ask your children to consider other ways characters could have handled their conflicts. Gain insight into your children's perceptions, beliefs and values, and be sure to share your own, as well.

*Discuss the real-life consequences of hurting other people. Help your kids learn how conflicts can be resolved peacefully.

*Explain that fights on television are not real; they are pretend. Young children may have difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality, especially when images on television look so believable.

*You may decide that some shows or video games are simply too violent or teach inappropriate lessons. Explain to your children that there are some shows and products you do not want in your home. Help them find other shows and games that are appropriate for their age and consistent with your family's values.

* Get to know your children's friends. Encourage them to invite friends to your home after school or on the weekend. This will give you the chance to supervise your kids with their peers and gain insight into how they relate with others.

*Set an example. Carefully choose the television shows and movies you view, and ensure that you make appropriate choices in the presence of your children. Also, be sure to treat others peacefully and respectfully. You are your children's first and most important role model; and they are watching you.

*Get active. If you are concerned about the prevalence of violent images portrayed in the media and how accessible they are to young children, share your concerns with elected officials and the entertainment industry.
· Participate in a letter writing campaign that supports more comprehensive ratings systems so parents can make informed decisions about the content of their children's entertainment.
· Ask your local Board of Education whether conflict resolution training is taught in your children's school.
· Learn ways you can make a difference by participating in advocacy projects, and promoting change.

Your children will be exposed to a variety of images throughout their lives. As a parent, you are in the position to profoundly influence their values and beliefs. Thorough your example, involvement and guidance, your kids can learn important life lessons about respecting others, resolving conflicts and demonstrating responsible behavior -- now, and as they grow.

Learn something new about raising non-violent children. Visit:

Act Against Violence www.actagainstviolence.com

The Institute for Community Peace www.peacebeyondviolence.org

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center www.safeyouth.org

Partnership Against Violence Network www.pavnet.org